Screw You Chase Bank ATMs! Why Do You Never Work?

chase bank ATMsThis is a rant.

There is nothing special you’re going to learn here.  Your life won’t be any better.  I’m just going to complain.

I’m going to raise my pitch-fork in agony and tell you the tale of how Chase Bank ATMs did me wrong!

 

How It All Started:

It was ordinary morning just like any other.

I had money to deposit and I decided to go to my local Chase ATM machine.  When I pulled up to the drive-through port, I inserted my card and waited.   The machine promptly came back with a message that read “This machine is unable to handle transactions at this time”.

That’s too bad.  I both needed to both deposit money and withdraw some as well.  I decided I would come back after work.

Later on in the evening I returned to the same Chase ATM.  This time there was a guy parked at the machine who was obviously there to change out the money inside.  And so I waited.  And waited.   And waited.

After what felt like forever, the man never left.  What was he DOING in there??  I didn’t have any patience to find out.  I’ll come back tomorrow.

 

More Debauchery from the Chase Bank ATMs:

The next morning I arrived to fulfill my transactions from the previous day.  Again I received the same “Go F* Yourself” message from the ATM screen.

What the hell was the problem??  I know I live in the ghetto, but a Chase ATM is a Chase ATM.  It SHOULD work, right?  I decided I would go to another ATM machine close to my work (nearly 60 miles away from this one).

So the next day I pulled up to the one near my work.  This time they weren’t even playing around.  The screen was just blue as if the computer was trying to restart.  What the hell is that??

 

Actually Going Inside the Bank?  Now We’re Getting Ridiculous …

Now I felt I had tried everything … but the only option I had left….

… to actually go inside the bank.

I hadn’t done that in years.  I was scared.  Would I even know what to do or where to go?  I figured I’m a courageous man so I can handle it.

So I decided to wait until the weekend (you know – because banks and most offices only seem to be open from 9 to 4 when most normal people are working – makes sense) to visit a third local branch.

I went inside, stood in line, and then walked up to greet the teller.  She went ahead and did my transactions for me – deposited my money and made my withdraw.

As she was handing me my receipt, she looked at me and said (in a very soft spoken voice) “you know you could have done all this using our drive-through ATM”.

I looked back at her and said “……..  no I couldn’t have”.

Lady, you don’t even know!

 

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